MY BEXIT by Theresa May
How could I know, sez she
When I took this job, sez she
What a poison chalice, sez she
It would turn out to be, sez she.
I had high hopes, sez she
That I would out-maggie Maggie, sez she
Be the best female leader, sez she
Since Queen Victoria, sez she.
Instead, sez she
All my dreams, sez she
Have been destroyed, sez she
By this Bexit mania, sez she.
Every day, sez she
Without let up, sez she
I cannot escape, sez she
To do the things, sez she
That would make me great, sez she.
Hopping and trotting, sez she
From one meeting to another, sez she
From London to Brussels, sez she
And back the same day, sez she.
I barely have time, sez she
To change me clothes, sez she.
For all the good it does, sez she
Cold-shouldered by Macron and Merkle, sez she.
And all because, sez she
Of that DUP, sez she
A shower of crackpots, sez she
Wouldn’t give them the time of day, sez she
Under normal circumstances, sez she
But they have me by the…., sez she
With their no surrender, sez she.
If they only knew, sez she
How we’d like to dump them, sez she
Once and for all, sez she.
Even the Shiners, sez she
Would be better, sez she
If they only agreed, sez she
To take their seats, sez she.
And what thanks do I get, sez she
For these sleepless nights, sez she
Even my own party, sez she
Gang up with Labour, sez she.
A crowd of traitors, sez she
Should be sent to the Tower, sez she.
Boris the Bonkers, sez she
And snooty Rees Mogg, sez she
Should be stuffed in a museum, sez ahe
Still hankering for the Empire, sez she
That is no more, sez she
Even the Irish, sez she
Have nothing to say, sez she
Except backstop, backstop, sez she
If only the bloody border, sez she,
Was down the Irish Sea, sez she
Leave Leo and Arlene, sez she
To kiss and make up, sez she.
All England, sez she,
Would give a big cheer, sez she
To be rid at last, sez she,
Of all that trouble, sez she
But never mind, sez she
It will soon be over, sez she
In twenty-twenty two, sez she
Then my own Brexit, sez she
Will be revealed, sez she.
You see, sez she
I found an Irish granny, sez she
In my DNA, sez she.
Once out of number 10, sez she
I’ll apply, sez she
For an Irish pasport, sez she.
Buy a little cottage, sez she
Maybe on Clare Island, sez she
Where like Grace O’Malley, sez she
I’ll be my own woman, sez she
Beholden to no one, sez she.
And if they need a new Pirate Queen, sez she
Sure maybe I’ll do, sez she.
© Anne Chambers 2019