How could I know, sez she

When I took this job, sez she

What a poison chalice, sez she

It would turn out to be, sez she.

I had high hopes, sez she

That I would out-maggie Maggie, sez she

Be the best female leader, sez she

Since Queen Victoria, sez she.

 

Instead, sez she

All my dreams, sez she

Have been destroyed, sez she

By this Bexit mania, sez she.

Every day, sez she

Without let up, sez she

I cannot escape, sez she

To do the things, sez she

That would make me great, sez she.

 

Hopping and trotting, sez she

From one meeting to another, sez she

From London to Brussels, sez she

And back the same day, sez she.

I barely have time, sez she

To change me clothes, sez she.

For all the good it does, sez she

Cold-shouldered by Macron and Merkle, sez she.

 

And all because, sez she

Of that DUP, sez she

A shower of crackpots, sez she

Wouldn’t give them the time of day, sez she

Under normal circumstances, sez she

But they have me by the…., sez she

With their no surrender, sez she.

If they only knew, sez she

How we’d like to dump them, sez she

Once and for all, sez she.

Even the Shiners, sez she

Would be better, sez she

If they only agreed, sez she

To take their seats, sez she.

 

And what thanks do I get, sez she

For these sleepless nights, sez she

Even my own party, sez she

Gang up with Labour, sez she.

A crowd of traitors, sez she

Should be sent to the Tower, sez she.

Boris the Bonkers, sez she

And snooty Rees Mogg, sez she

Should be stuffed in a museum, sez ahe

Still hankering for the Empire, sez she 

That is no more, sez she

 

Even the Irish, sez she

Have nothing to say, sez she

Except backstop, backstop, sez she

If only the bloody border, sez she,

Was down the Irish Sea, sez she

Leave Leo and Arlene, sez she

To kiss and make up, sez she.

All England, sez she,

Would give a big cheer, sez she

To be rid at last, sez she,

Of all that trouble, sez she

 

But never mind, sez she

It will soon be over, sez she

In twenty-twenty two, sez she

Then my own Brexit, sez she

Will be revealed, sez she.

You see, sez she

I found an Irish granny, sez she

In my DNA, sez she.

Once out of number 10, sez she

I’ll apply, sez she

For an Irish pasport, sez she.

Buy a little cottage, sez she

Maybe on Clare Island, sez she

Where like Grace O’Malley, sez she

I’ll be my own woman, sez she

Beholden to no one, sez she.

 

And if they need a new Pirate Queen, sez she

Sure maybe I’ll do, sez she.

© Anne Chambers 2019